'23 Weeknotes #03: At the Edge of Coaching
This past week I’ve been devouring two books: Coaching Relationships and Therapist to Coach, which mostly oppose each other in their description of what rests in the realm of a coaching approach and what doesn’t. I’m sharing below the questions they leave me with. If you are contending with similar questions yourself, get in touch:
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We know well to steer away from doing' ‘pretend therapy’. Perhaps unconventionally, the paragraph below looks at the potential of doing harm from a different angle, of trying to stay so far away from a therapeutic space that the conversation denies any experience of coach and coachee being connected:
’Bowlby suggests that attachment, or relational needs, will always configure in one way or another how we live our lives; and I am suggesting that this primary need is bound to configure a coaching relationship - for when a coaching client meets his or her coach, he/she brings into the encounter, both counciously and unconsciouly, their experience of primary relationships, their expectations of someone who is ‘there for them’.
It seems reasonable to suggest that a skilled coaching process developed from a profound understanding of relational needs is capable of contributing to human growth. It also seems safe to suggest that coaching which does not take account of the relational dynamics inherent in the coaching process may well be ineffectual, and at worst, potentially harmful.’
- Bill Critchley, Relational Coaching:Dancing on the Edge, in Coaching Realtionships, Erik De Haan and Charlotte Sills
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• This approach opens up the possibility of a grayer area between coaching and therapy. One that can be navigated professionally with the appropriate skills, training and intention
• Being in therapy oneself can both make you more aware of how these processes differ, and at times, perhaps too immeresed in either of them to be able to discern the difference, that’s where supervision comes in
• I see a need to ask these questions for each coaching relationship in turn. Each will find us using different coaching techniques and each will require different boundaries to be navigated. Getting clear on the basic difference can be a good starting point. (Therapist into Coach)
• There have now been vast amounts of research that show that the relationship itself, both in coaching and therapy, is the key factor for successful outcomes. From a relational coaching perpsective, this refers to naming what is going on between coach and coachee as data and material that is potentially relevant to the coaching work. (Coaching Relationships)
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I’m iacob, a Certified Coach working with people shifting careers/roles and organisations navigating culture shifts. I’m an Associate Coach with NEON, Simply Coaching and Learnest. I’m currently available for new coaching clients, roles and projects. Read more here and get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.