Weeknotes #35: Beyond Coaching vs Therapy
You are reading ‘Like person, like coach’: explorations at the intersection of personal narrative and coaching practice:
'Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.'
- George Saunders (found via The Marginalian)
Over the years I’ve thought and written about this topic a lot. I’ve been coaching for about 5 years and been in therapy for about 7 years alongside. I have deep contact with both worlds and it can be a good position to ask deep questions from. You can read some of my previous posts on the topic here, here and here.
More recently I’ve become interested not in how we differentiate therapy and coaching but how we manage boundaries within each individual coaching relationship, how well we know ourselves as coaches and how able we are to have frank conversations at the contracting stage about risks, boundaries, care.
Stating that coaching is not therapy is not enough. Approaching coaching as if it’s only a cognitive process is also not enough. Often times we attempt this with good intentions - we don’t want to cause harm and want to work within our capabilities. What can happen in that process is doing harm by trying really hard to supress the fully embodied response to being asked questions, which is most of coaching.
What if instead we accept that we might veer into difficult territory, not by intention but by the nature of reflection, and build in the capabilities in ourselves and in our coaching partnership, for straightforwardness, integrity and timely intervention?
I’ve found over these years in coaching that the people who gather in the room influence the coaching process deeply: what is possible and how that possible is navigated. And if we work in a partnered way we can make decisions together about the boundaries of those involved, both solid ones and flexible ones. This might be a conversation we have beforehand and sometimes, more effectively, navigate it as boundaries are being tugged at by the work.
Transformation is the territory of many practices: therapy, coaching, mentoring, teaching, writing etc. What if we shifted from being afraid of their similarities, and look closely at the skills we’re confident enough in and seek the training or support where we need it? What if the risk isn’t in going too deep or looking at the past, or getting stuck in the problem, but in denying that inevitably we might, whether explicitly or implicitly - and then invest time and effort in how we might prepare and respond when we do.
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New Updates to Website:
- New offers: 1-2-1 coaching, team coaching and supervision;
- A Calendly link to book a 30min call (for inquiries about offers or having a conversation about the topics approached in Coaching Weeknotes);
- A bit more detail on case studies from coaching teams navigating org change.
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Spring is bringing a lot of new topics and themes to mind and I’m excited for these Coaching Weeknotes going forward, as I reach nearly One Year of writing consistently. Thank you as always for reading and for your kind encouragement.
iacob
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If you enjoy reading Like Person, Like Coach recommend it to others. Get in touch at iacobrbacian@gmail.com or find me elsewhere online.